tobermory story.

i saw the water bleed blue. it was cold cold cold like a basement you never went into.
i saw the water construct a body, and smash itself like a bomb filled with confetti. a lighthouse gazed on, as dumb as it was tall.
i saw the water bleed blue.

mister haney's diner reminder.

two-toned tea brunch!

getting your fries to go is never ever a good idea. it is never ever a good idea because you'll get home and put them on the counter and two hours later those fries are dried out where not eerily soggy, tepid, and of a sibling texture to long forgotten cardboard in the basement. but my god, good friends, that will not stop you from eating until nothing remains in the cheap styrofoam casket but a slick sheen and a few granules of iodized salt.

father sky and cedar.

dear cali, oh hi: life isn't a challenge to see how much food you can consume in a day, everyday. jesus christ.
today denice and i fed ducks but mostly geese and denice called them "fat assholes," and i laughed a lot at that.
at work i discussed, at great length, the hilarious and traumatizing aftermath of accidentally purchasing 'AM instead of HAM. what is 'am? was it once ham? a variation? twice boiled ham? ham from a hamsack? clams in clamshackles?
no it's brainmeat. we toyed with the idea of it being pressed and molded into the shape of a radio with functional knobs and antennae.

bedroom dancingg YYAY!!

skinnova grapefruit.

jenn illuminated my weekend with her visit.

one summer, i lived with jenn and her family, and we shared her bedroom. and worked at armen's cafe together. she emptied out some dresser drawers for me to use.
i lived with her the next summer, too, in a one bedroom attic apartment with dev. they emptied out a whole room for me.
the... only room.

i am so fortunate to love, and be loved.

meringue-a-dang.

signs of life and lustre (WITH HOTGIRLPIXX):
luke and i had a really really romantic date today eating pizza and watching SKINS (see: all of my dreams coming true). his armscar is like the equator: HOT, and previously clamped together with seventy nine thousand metal thumbtacks, or something. i'm not good with medical jargon. or geographical metaphors.

denice and i went on a hot date too!!! ICYHOT. like an old man's arthritic elbow medicine pad.

we also met jenzzen at the market and he shared cheese curds! they didn't even squeak in my teeth like some do, thank god. it makes me feel like i'm eating a plasticcyrubber doll's head. that's more like, nightmarish shit.

dev and i discussed a dark chocolate cake with maple custard filling. or was it chocolate fudge? and maple? peanut butter was discussed briefly. then i went the fuck to marble slab.

advanced green and PHANTOM BOWLING.

because no one actually went bowling.
i've decided on the names of my next two dogs: dog one will be "mallfood" and dog two will be "sexdog."
SEXDOG.
and i'll excitedly tell people to watch-the-fuck-out (!!) for the adventures of MALLFOOD and SEXDOG (!!!). then gesticulate wildly in the direction of two sleeping dogs on a dumb rug beside a small pile of kibbly dogpuke. i also imagined, but did not mention, that i would be wearing a cape. and the next scene is me cleaning up the vomit sadly, still wearing the cape. this just became a tiny film.

cecil ryan threatens to leave home.

right. in the physical world, i bought a hardcover copy of the norton anthology of theory and criticism today from the library, it was three dollars! i'm nerding out with joy. but it's a hundred dollars new! AND the norton anthology of poetry. eight bucks! new best friends.

black comedy beer sign.

i'm not even drunk! basically i just want to not put on a coat when i leave the house. and super stoked to find out what this summer's hotawesomenewbeer will be! i'm banking on budlight cilantro. budlight dorito? budlight chilicheesenachos. something distinctly south-of-the-border but anglo-friendly.

OMG BUDLIGHT BURRITO!

budlight volcanolayer hotdog from taco bell.

as observed by wendal.

blogger.com is getting so popular on my roll-down address menu up top there that is has nearly surpassed ninja video* where i attempt to watch skins but it doesn't work so i try to watch it's always sunny in philadelphia** and it also doesn't work and i broke down and watched half of the first episode of jersey shore? or jersey beach or whatever? then solemnly closed my laptop. yes that was the same night i watched austin powers the spy who shagged me. when did this become a pit of shames?

*which i always call, "video ninja," to which luke replies, "it's not an actual ninja, cali."
** the internet bitchninja can suck a major doogie cuz jensen got me season IV on dvd yessssss.
ugh i still really want to watch those skins episodes, though.

i invented a rice pudding tonight i think? i boiled basmati in coconut milk with sugar and cocoa and cinnamon. served it with cream and sliced bernerners. bulbormnords. with some more cinnamon on top YEAHDANG.
you can come over and have some if you want.
dev moving in has been a brilliant awesome thing.

they spelled "zebrathing" wrong.